儿童英语笑话(4)

一天课上，老师要同学们以如果我是一个经理为题写一篇作文。
所有的学生都在动笔写了，只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。
我在等我的秘书。那孩子答道。
Big hands 大手
Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
Student: Big hands.
老师：如果我左手上有7个桔子，右手上有8个桔子。那么我有什么？
学生：大手。
一场特殊的足球比赛
Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."
"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.
"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.
麦克上学迟到了。他对布莱克老师说：“对不起，老师，今天早上我迟到了。因为我在梦里观看了一场球赛。”
“为什么它会让你迟到呢？”老师问道。
“因为这两个队都没有能力获胜，所以就持续的时间长了。”麦克回答说。
All Right 没关系
Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. Uh-oh, I said, realizing my mistake. I just make an illegal turn.
I guess it's all right, my daughter replied, The police car behind us did the same thing.
我赶着开车将11岁的女儿送到学校去，在红灯处右拐了，而那是不允许的(译注:在一些国家如英国,其交通规则是车辆左行的,与我国相反)。啊噢，意识到犯了错误，我说。我刚才拐弯是违章的。
我想那没关系的，女儿回答说：我们后面的警车也同样拐了弯。
Mushroom and Toadstool 蘑菇与毒蕈
Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool（毒菌） ?
Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.
年少的童子军：我怎样才能把蘑菇和毒蕈区别开呢？
年长的童子军：上床前吃一个。如果你第二天早上醒来，那就是蘑菇